"Bless the universe for creating vibrators! Best invention, second to the dishwasher,"1 exclaimed one participant in a study on attitudes toward sex toys.
The sex toy industry is constantly expanding, and its growing popularity is not going to slow down2! Yet, little research has been interested in their use in sexuality. Therefore, it seems that sex toys could play a key role in sexual fulfillment by encouraging bodily exploration, discovering new pleasures, and increasing physical sensations.
Sex toys in intimate life
Sex toys include a variety of erotic accessories used for sexual pleasure, such as vibrators (or vibrating massagers), dildos, cock rings, prostate stimulators, etc. There is something for everyone! The star accessory, the vibrator, has been around for over a hundred years and is associated with the sexual liberation of women who "take control of their sexuality"1.
In Canada, about one in two adults (52.3%) have used sex toys at least once in their lives. So why do we talk about it so little? One possible explanation is the presence of several prejudices that persist regarding the use of sex toys. For example, one such misconception is that only heterosexual women without a sexual partner use sex toys as a "substitute”. Their use may also be incorrectly associated with sexually inadequacy or hypersexuality. In addition, a prejudice resides in the media that these objects are dangerous to one’s health. "Vibrators are still taboo and often a part of jokes"1 expressed another participant in the above-mentioned study.
The few studies that have been done on sex toys usage show that they actually have positive effects on sexuality, including being associated with greater sexual satisfaction, less anxiety about one's sexuality, greater connection to one's body, and a greater sense of control over one's sexuality1, 4, 5. "It’s a lot easier and a lot faster to orgasm with [a vibrator]"1. Despite the few studies on the subject, one question remains: can sex toys enhance the experience of mindful sex?
What is mindful sex?
Mindful sex describes a sexual experience involving a state of mindfulness of physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts, focused on the present moment, and marked by curiosity about what is happening without judgment of self and other. Mindful sex is experienced in the free and authentic exploration of one's body and senses, as well as one's overall sexual experience.
In the fight against prejudices regarding sex toys, mindfulness encourages openness and curious, even playful, exploration of one's sexuality. Isn't that exactly what sex toys are all about?
The positive effects of mindfulness on sexual well-being are increasingly recognized. In fact, mindfulness is a recommended practice in sex therapy to promote healthy sexuality. However, the scientific literature on the role of sex toys remains limited. Reflecting on the role of sex toys in the experience of sexuality in mindfulness unites both core elements of mindfulness, such as connecting with one's body, and modern issues related to sexuality and technology, such as the need for connection in the age of social networking and virtual dating.
The potential of sex toys in mindful sex
A few mindfulness-based interventions exist that suggests the use of sex toys. For example, one intervention for women with vaginal pain during sex suggests inserting sex toys of varying sizes into the vagina to facilitate penetration4. An intervention to reduce difficulties with rapid ejaculation in men also includes vibrators in the treatment5. Both interventions would allow participants to become more aware of their physical sensations while using the toy and to have more control over their bodily responses (e.g., by relaxing tense muscles).
Sex toys could then promote self-discovery, by being connected to one's body in the present moment. Such objects would facilitate the awakening of certain aspects of one's sexuality, particularly in a state of mindfulness marked by curiosity, openness, non-judgment, compassion, and self-respect. As one participant in a sex toy study stated, "I feel like it [the vibrator] helps women be more comfortable with themselves..."1 Sex toys may also allow for a gradual exploration of one's sexuality in a safe context for those who are experiencing difficulties with sexual intimacy with another person, including survivors of sexual trauma.
In conclusion, sex toys occupy an important place in the intimate lives of many people, although they remain a taboo, even unknown, subject of human sexuality. Sex toys therefore deserve special attention, both in research and in sex education. Whether you suffer from sexual problems or simply want to increase your repertoire of experiences, sex toys could be the solution.
There are as many sexual experiences as there are people, and they are all valid. The important thing for growth is to listen to one's own needs and limitations. Mindful sex, as well as the use of sex toys, encourages the freedom to try, so let the exploration begin!
The publication of this article was made possible thanks to our partner, the Interdisciplinary Research Centre on Intimate Relationship Problems and Sexual Abuse (CRIPCAS), and the Fonds de recherche du Québec.
To cite this article: Girard, M. & Godbout, N. (2022, January 17). Mixing business with pleasure. TRACE Blog. https://natachagodbout.com/en/blog/mixing-business-pleasur
- 1a1b1c1d1e1fWaskul, D., & Anklan, M. (2020). “Best invention, second to the dishwasher”: Vibrators and sexual pleasure. Sexualities, 23(5-6), 849-875.
- 2Wood, J., Crann, S., Cunningham, S., Money, D., & O'Doherty, K. (2017). A cross-sectional survey of sex toy use, characteristics of sex toy use hygiene behaviours, and vulvovaginal health outcomes in Canada. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 26(3), 196-204.
- 4a4bRosenbaum, T. Y. (2013). An integrated mindfulness-based approach to the treatment of women with sexual pain and anxiety: Promoting autonomy and mind/body connection. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 28(1-2), 20-28.
- 5a5bVentus, D., Gunst, A., Arver, S., Dhejne, C., Öberg, K. G., Zamore-Söderström, E., ... & Jern, P. (2019). Vibrator-assisted Start–Stop exercises improve premature ejaculation symptoms: A randomized controlled trial. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1-15.
