What is weight stigma?
Weight stigma is a social phenomenon that encompasses all the negative thoughts, attitudes and behaviours directed towards a person simply on the basis of their weight3,4,5. Body stigma can take different forms:
| Explicit stigma | It is characterized by overtly expressed negative attitudes and unfavorable, unfair behavior towards people because of their weight. Examples include criticism of a person's weight, or social rejection/discrimination based on weight. |
| Implicit stigma | This encompasses all the beliefs and prejudices held about overweight people, as well as more unconscious attitudes. Examples include thinking that overweight people are lazy and lack willpower, or feeling disgust towards people because of their weight. |
| Internalized stigma | This arises when the stigmatized person unconsciously begins to endorse the negative prejudices expressed about them because of their weight. They may then find themselves unattractive, talk negatively about their body and adopt problematic eating behaviors (e.g., skipping meals, making themselves vomit, using laxatives). |
What’s it like for the couple?
Romantic relationships are one of the most frequent and immediate sources of weight stigma in everyday life5. Yet very few studies have been carried out on couples. Those that have been carried out describe that around half (between 40% and 57%) of weight stigma in adulthood comes from one’s romantic partner6. This is mostly illustrated by weight-related teasing and criticism of one’s partner. Indeed, in a recent study, 65% of individuals reported having weight-related conversations with their partner7. These involved either direct comments about weight and looks (e.g., “you've put on weight”), jokes and teasing (e.g., “the fat one ate the last of the cookies”), or exchanges about weight and health insecurities (e.g., “You must watch your diet and exercise more”).
What are the consequences of weight stigma in your relationship?
In the long term, these stigmatizing discussions have harmful consequences for the couple's relationship8,9:
- Low sexual satisfaction ;
- Low relationship quality;
- Low relationship stability;
- Non-constructive communication during relationship conflicts.
A recent study of 209 married heterosexual couples sought to understand the consequences of stigmatizing comments in intimate relationships10. According to this study, husbands who make comments and criticisms related to their partner's weight (explicit stigma) indirectly infer a lower value for their partner (implicit stigma). This is then associated with low self-esteem in their spouse (internalized stigma), which in turn is linked to low sexual and marital satisfaction within the couple, and even an increase in depressive symptoms for both loving partners.
For married women, the perception of receiving criticism or suggestions to lose weight from their partner is associated with a feeling of being less desirable to their partner, which in turn is linked to low sexual and marital satisfaction11. More specifically, the internalization of weight-related biases (internalized stigma) is thought to be the factor most strongly associated with depressive symptoms and low self-esteem observed in women stigmatized because of their weight. The harmful effects of body stigma are thus felt when women themselves begin to believe that they have less value as a love partner because of their weight.
However, the few studies on weight stigma in romantic relationships have been carried out almost exclusively on samples of heterosexual couples8. Yet, people from the LGBTQ+ community are at greater risk of experiencing weight-based discrimination, internalized stigma and problematic eating behaviors12. According to intersectionality theory, one possible explanation for the increased risk among this population is the presence of double stigmatization due to their sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as their weight. This double stigmatization is thought to exacerbate chronic stress and negative emotions. Further research is therefore needed to examine the impact of this social phenomenon on sexually and gender-diverse couples.
Key points to remember:
Over the past few years, studies on weight stigma have begun to emerge. Not only does this phenomenon have proven negative individual effects in various spheres (e.g., increased stress, psychological distress, unhealthy eating behaviors, avoidance of medical appointments, etc.)13, but it is also said to have significant impacts on body, sexual and marital satisfaction.
Although intentions are sometimes not intended to be negative, weight-related comments can still be received negatively. For example, congratulating someone on their weight loss could be perceived as confirmation that they had weight to lose, reinforcing issues linked to self-esteem, weight and diet. The words we use in our daily lives, no matter how trivial, have a real impact on our well-being. To make sure you're happy in your relationship, it might be a good idea to let go of comments about your partner's weight, even when you're joking about it!
The publication of this article was made possible thanks to our partner, the Interdisciplinary Research Centre on Intimate Relationship Problems and Sexual Abuse (CRIPCAS), and the Fonds de recherche du Québec.
To cite this article: Légaré-Baribeau, M.-P., Legendre, M. & Bégin, C. (2024, September 23). Comments about weight in your romantic relationship, a nuisance to your happiness? TRACE Blog. https://natachagodbout.com/en/blog/comments-about-weight-your-romantic-…
- 3Puhl, R. M., Schwartz, M. B., & Brownell, K. D. (2005). Impact of perceived consensus on stereotypes about obese people: a new approach for reducing bias. Health Psychology, 24(5), 517–525. https://doi.org/10.1037/0278-6133. 24.5.517
- 4Brownell, K. D., Puhl, R. M., Schwartz, M. B., & Rudd, L. (Eds.) (2005). Weight bias: Nature, consequences, and remedies. New York: Guilford Press.
- 5a5bPuhl, R. M., & Heuer, C. A. (2009), The stigma of obesity: A review and update. Obesity, 17(5), 941–964. https://doi. org/10.1038/oby.2008.636
- 6Lawrence, S. E., Puhl, R. M., Watson, R. J., Schwartz, M. B., Lessard, L. M., & Foster, G. D. (2023). Family-based weight stigma and psychosocial health: A multinational comparison. Obesity (Silver Spring, Md.), 31(6), 1666–1677. https://doi.org/10.1002/oby.23748
- 7Berge, J. M., Pratt, K., & Miller, L. (2016). Weight conversations in romantic relationships: What do they sound like and how do partners respond? Families, systems & health : The journal of collaborative family healthcare, 34(3), 213–220. https://doi.org/10.1037/fsh0000223
- 8a8bSchmidt, A. M., Jubran, M., Salivar, E. G., & Brochu, P. M. (2023). Couples losing kinship: A systematic review of weight stigma in romantic relationships. Journal of Social Issues, 79(1), 196–231. https://doi.org/10.1111/josi.12542
- 9Côté, M., & Bégin, C. (2020). Review of the experience of weight-based stigmatization in romantic relationships. Current obesity reports, 9(3), 280–287. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13679-020-00383-0
- 10Carels, R. A., Miller, J. C., Hlavka, R., Selensky, J., Shonrock, A. M. T., & Ellis, J. M. (2020). Associations between husbands' weight bias and related concerns and husbands' and wives' psychological and relationship outcomes. Body image, 35, 11–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.008
- 11Carels, R. A., Hlavka, R., Selensky, J. C., Solar, C., Rossi, J., Miller, J. C., & Ellis, J. (2020). The associations between wives’ internalized weight bias and other weight-related concerns, perceived husbands’ weight-related comments, perceived mate value, and psychological and relationship outcomes. Stigma and Health, 5(3), 258-268. https://doi.org/10.1037/sah0000192
- 12Shonrock, A. T., Miller, J. C., Byrd, R., Sall, K. E., Jansen, E., Carraway, M., Campbell, L., & Carels, R. A. (2022) Experienced weight stigma, internalized weight bias and maladaptive eating patterns among heterosexual and sexual minority individuals. Eating and weight disorders: EWD, 27(8), 3487–3497. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-022-01486-4
- 13Hunger, J. M., Major, B., Blodorn, A., & Miller, C. T. (2015). Weighed down by stigma: How weight-based social identity threat contributes to weight gain and poor health. Social and personality psychology compass, 9(6), 255–268. https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12172
