Discussing sexual abuse experienced by boys

You have certainly heard of stories where a male teacher develops an intimate relationship with an underage female student. Even though this type of relationship is sometimes still romanticized in the media, it is generally perceived negatively and seen as sexual abuse due to the unequal power dynamic. If the roles were reversed, and a female teacher engaged in an intimate relationship with a male student, would our perceptions of the relationship be different?

A recent phenomenon in the media indicates that it would be. In the fall of 2022, the television series Chouchou ignited several discussions about sexual abuse perpetrated against boys. This show tells the story of a 37-year-old teacher (Chanelle) who develops an intimate and sexual relationship with her 17-year-old student (Sandrick). This drama narrative has been the subject of media coverage and public reactions that are damaging to men who were victims of sexual abuse perpetrated by women during childhood. It is therefore imperative to highlight their experiences and provide avenues to improve how we address male sexual victimization.

First of all, the Criminal Code of Canada is clear: sexual contact between a minor and a person in a position of authority is an offence. In a relational context where power is unequal, as in a teacher-student relationship, the minor does not have the capacity to give consent. It is the responsibility of the authority person to maintain a safe environment and clear relational and sexual boundaries. Yet, in the official synopsis of the Chouchou series on the Noovo platform, the relationship between the victim and the perpetrator is described as a "romantic slip." This formulation trivializes the teacher's behaviour and romanticizes her abusive relationship with her 17-year-old student. Moreover, most media articles fail to mention that this series features a story of sexual abuse, and speak instead of an illicit, forbidden, and passionate love affair. On the one hand, the abuser is portrayed as a devoted teacher, faithful wife and loving mother who is blinded by love and passion. On the other hand, the victim is portrayed as an arrogant, bold, and charming teenager. For example:

• In the Journal de Montréal, an article describes the plot as follows: "A 37-year-old teacher will succumb to the charms – not without first resisting – of a student 20 years her junior, causing (…) her abrupt downfall, which will send her to prison."
• In Le Devoir, a columnist insinuated that the perpetrator of the abuse is the victim. This article describes the teenage victim as follows: "Born of an alcoholic, toxic, and manipulative mother, the arrogant teenager will quickly take advantage of Chanelle's trouble." Let's start by clarifying that the vulnerabilities of victims should never be used to downplay the actions of the perpetrator of the abuse or to hold victims responsible for their victimization.

Public reactions echo these articles, and comments from viewers on social media depict the teacher as an innocent woman who made a mistake. Most viewers do not seem to realize the abusive nature of the relationship, and several comments even romanticize and eroticize it. As an example, one viewer commented under a Noovo Facebook post, expressing a desire for their "love story to end well."

Together, these statements reverse the roles of perpetrator and victim, blame the victim, absolve the perpetrator of responsibility for the crime committed, thus harming boys who are victims of sexual abuse. These reactions highlight the influence of traditional codes of masculinity that promote the idea that a "real" man should be strong, dominant, in control, always ready, and open to sexual encounters1 . These societal expectations for boys and men are incompatible with sexual victimization. Also, the persistent myth that a man cannot be a victim of sexual abuse and that a woman cannot be the perpetrator is brought to light. However, women are responsible for about one in 20 instances of sexual abuse committed against boys. Today, women are still perceived as incapable of committing sexual abuse, and it is expected of them to maintain a protective stance towards minors2 . Furthermore, in the case of boys, early sexuality is often valorized, and sexual advances from an older woman may be considered a "chance" for the boy who in reality is a victim3 .

The entirety of these reactions underscores the need for a shift in how we approach male sexual abuse. Let's recall some points for consideration aimed at promoting more sensitive responses to the reality of male victims of sexual abuse:

1. Acknowledge the existence and scope of male sexual victimization: Childhood sexual abuse affects one in 10 boys4 . Despite this, male victims encounter numerous obstacles5 ,6  to reporting such acts and obtaining necessary help.
2. Continue raising awareness about male sexual victimization in one's social circle, the media, the public, decision-makers, etc. It is crucial to break gender stereotypes to enable greater recognition of the reality faced by men who are victims of sexual abuse. Sharing this blog article or that educational video on this subject with one's network can be a good starting point for promoting awareness.
3. Promptly correct misinformation and harmful statements circulating in the media. To do so, it is encouraged to follow the recommendations of the INSPQ media kit aimed at reducing and eventually stopping the dissemination of harmful statements in the media. For instance, it is important to use accurate language to describe abuse. Taking the example of the Chouchou series, the media would have benefited from referring to it as sexual abuse rather than a romantic slip.
4. Recall the destructive consequences of sexual abuse on men and boys. Testimonial videos are available on our research projects website, the National Collective on Male Victimization (CNVAM), and help highlight the extent of the impact of sexual victimization on well-being.
5. Welcome, believe, and validate the testimony of male victims with the aim of facilitating disclosure, encouraging help-seeking behaviours, and preventing re-traumatization.
6. If a man in your circle discloses a situation of abuse he has experienced, inform him about the available services for male victims. These services are accessible throughout Quebec and are listed on the CNVAM website.
7. Ensure counselors training and awareness on the realities of male victimization to promote adequate support within help resources.

The media coverage of the "Chouchou" series has brought to light unnuanced and, at times, harmful discussions concerning male sexual victimization. However, it is everyone’s responsibility to engage in conversations that are sensitive to the reality of sexual abuse experienced by boys and men. By improving the way we address male victimization, we can encourage disclosure and support the recovery processes of  the victims.

The publication of this article was made possible thanks to our partner, the Interdisciplinary Research Centre on Intimate Relationship Problems and Sexual Abuse (CRIPCAS), and the Fonds de recherche du Québec. 

To cite this article: Lebeau, R., Ledoux-Labelle, M.-J., & Godbout, N. (2024, April 2). Discussing sexual abuse experienced by boys: A mini guide on sensitive responses and discourses regarding trauma. TRACE Blog. https://natachagodbout.com/en/blog/discussing-sexual-abuse-experienced-…

• 1Parent, M. C., & Moradi, B. (2009). Confirmatory factor analysis of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory and development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory-46. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 10(3), 175–189. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015481
• 2Saradjian, J. (2010). Understanding the prevalence of female-perpetrated sexual abuse and the impact of that abuse on the victims. In T.A. Gannon et F. Cortoni (dir.), Female sexual offenders: Theory, assessment, and treatment. Wiley-Blackwell.
• 3Murray, S. H. (2020). Not always in the mood: The new science of men, sex and relationship. Rowman & Littlefield.
• 4Kloppen, K., Haugland, S., Svedin, C. G., Mæhle, M., & Breivik, K. (2016). Prevalence of child sexual abuse in the nordic countries: A literature review. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 25(1), 37‑55. https://doi.org/10.1080/10538712.2015.1108944
• 5Easton, S., Saltzman, L. Y., & Willis, D. G. (2014). "Would you tell under circumstances like that?”: Barriers to disclosure of child sexual abuse for men. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 15(4), 460 469. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0034223
• 6Halvorsen, J. E., Tvedt Solberg, E., & Hjelen Stige, S. (2020). “To say it out loud is to kill your own childhood.” – An exploration of the first-person perspective of barriers to disclosing child sexual abuse. Children and Youth Services Review, 113, 104999. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.104999